Hiding My Heart
by In-love-with-her-guitar
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella something wierd happens to her so she's goes travelling around the world until she encounters the Volturi.She stays with them and becomes one of the most feared volturi members. Then of course there's the Major full sum inside
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

**Summary:** Bella travels around the world until she encounters the Volturi. They take her in and she quickly becomes the most feared member of the guard. She and the guard search for law breakers and destructive vampires. She was fine until she's asked to search and destroy the Major, who just so happens to be her mate...

This chapter has be re-uploaded to. I removed AN's in the middle. Same content as before.

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_**'This is how the story went...'**_

Sometimes I felt that my life was already planned out for me. I felt like it was stolen from me, that I never had the chance to just _live_. I was born Isabella Swan, but just Bella to my family and friends, in the state of Washington in a little town called Forks. And no, I'm not kidding, it _is_ actually called Forks.

I lived with both my parents, Charlie and Renee Swan till about the age of 6 when my mum decided small town life wasn't for her so she upped and moved, taking me with her, and leaving my poor father lost and confused. We moved to Phoenix where I grew to love the heat and despise my skin. I was paler than a sheet of paper. Well maybe not that extreme but I didn't tan. No matter how much I tried.

I loved my mother dearly. But her eccentric and abrupt ways got her into more trouble than a grown adult parent should ever get. So that's how I ended up being the adult. When I was old enough to reach the stove I cooked. When I was old enough to handle her accounts, I paid the bills and made sure she didn't get us into debt. When _she_ thought I was old enough for her to date, I brought pepper spray for the really dodgy ones.

And then Phil came into the picture. I liked him; he was a nice guy and adored my mother although I thought he was a little too young for her but I guess that's what she needed. But then again I can't talk I dated a 109 year old virgin vampire. We'll get to that soon.

I knew he would take care of her. So it wasn't a surprised when she agreed to marry him. It was then that I decided that my time with my mother was over and for me to move and _finally_ start living my own life. At least I thought I would.

Using the excuse that I wanted to give the newlyweds some time alone, I shipped myself off to live with my father. Who happened to be the chief of Police in the dreary town of Forks. And it was there where I stepped into the second chapter of my life of controlling Bella Swan. I truly did love Edward, the vampire man/boy who I fell in love with. And I adored his family, who I soon started to call my family as well. Even Rosalie and Jasper though we never conversed much.

It's weird how I was completely besotted to him. I somehow totally lost myself and devoted my meaningless human life to please him in whatever way. I had moved to Forks with the intention of 'finding myself' and yet there I was helping _him_ find himself by testing _his_ self-control on me! It was unhealthy the way he tried to control my life. I always felt so inadequate compared to him and his graceful family. And you know what, it's my fault!

"Love, don't do that it's unbecoming". Who the heck says that anymore! I let him make me feel like that. And to think me_, Isabella Fucking Swan_ let a _boy_, control her makes my skin crawl.

Of course I didn't realise this till he'd upped and left taking his whole family with him. At the time I was devastated. Heartbroken. _Unworthy_. That's how I felt. And this in turn broke my poor father's heart. For months I was a zombie. I felt nothing. Barely ate. And cut off all communication with the outside world. Everyone gave up on me. Well except for my werewolf friend Jacob. Even he couldn't get Bella Swan back. The sweet caring girl who's heart got broken way too young for her to understand.

But I didn't stay like that forever though. Oh no, it seems fate had other plans for me. Visiting Edwards meadow was were things started to get down and dirty and just plain downright weird. Laurent appeared. It seemed good old Vicky wanted me. _Mate_ for a _mate_ she claimed. If only she knew. Of course Laurent being a new veggie and all decided to take a bite out me, for old times' sake. Right. Anyways so there I was my eyes closed praying that by some miracle he would spontaneously combust into flames. And then it happened. Well not the flames part, I would've been really freaked out then. I slowly opened my eyes and found Laurent no more than 6 inches away from my face, in a lunge position in _mid-air _with a look of pure shock and fear.

"Bitch what the hell did you do to me!" he screamed, venom spraying from his teeth. I was utterly shocked. Now that I look back it was quite a comical sight, bad scary vampire lunging at innocent little girl only to freeze mid-air like in movies.

At that time though, I didn't care what had happened, whether I caused it to happen or whatever, as soon as my brain connected to my legs I bolted out of that clearing impressing myself by not falling flat on my face. Of course I later found out the wolves killed him. I got home later that evening trying to forget what had happened only to find my father and mother in the living room together waiting for me.

"Bella, pack your bags you're leaving with me to Florida." She demanded. I don't' know what it was. To this day I don't what happened but I just suddenly snapped and went all kinds of crazy's on my mum and dad. Bless them they tried to calm me down, but it just wouldn't happen.

I took my anger at her for not giving me a life I wanted and Edward's abandonment on the house. I ran to my room, and literally destroyed it by smashing and kicking and throwing everything I could get my hands on. For 7 hours I was like that. Sweet Bella did not make an appearance, Zombie Bella just disappeared. Present was angry Bella and boy was she pissed. Looking back I remember the amount of rage I felt did not decrease at all until I passed out and woke up in hospital. I woke up 3 days later. Yeah that's right, _3 days_. To see the scared faces of my father and mother. And the first thing I said to them was "So what's for dinner?"

The doctor said it was something about emotional trauma or whatever. Didn't really care. But after that "episode" we call it, things went back to normal. Well as normal as they get. I started to eat again, went out with my friends. I even went on a date with Mike. My father came back to life with me, seeing how much of an effort I was making to finally just focus on me and finally live my life the way I wanted. I worked hard in school and also partied hard outside of school. All in all, I got back on the horse and started riding again. I started taking self-defence classes because of the incident with Laurent, although I knew my weak human strength would be nothing compared to a vampire's strength I decided it wouldn't hurt.

Slowly but surely I put my life back together again. The spark in my eyes as my father and Jacob called it was coming back and I looked and felt healthier than ever. As my mind and heart grew so did my body. With the self-defence classes and also with the fact that I started jogging with Jacob (well I jogged he just tugged along) my muscles got toned. I lost my baby fat around my face and grew two more inches.

High school graduation came and went surprisingly fast. There was a sense of sadness as Jessica's parents held a farewell party for all the seniors at their house. People laughed cried and rejoiced in the memories they shared in Forks. A lot of people had applied to colleges outside the state of Washington to experience something totally new and hardly ever seen in Forks, the Sun. I laughed at Mike when he explained his reasoning for applying to a college in Minestona. I had applied to Dartmouth and Brown and was surprised when I got their acceptance letters. I wanted to major in either English or Psychology. English because I loved reading and the classics were my favourite and Psychology because there was just something about human behaviour that intrigued me, the emotions that decide our actions and _why_ we do them. I guess when I had my mental breakdown I got a little curious.

My mum and dad were so proud of me; even Phil came to support me at my graduation. I could practically hear my dad telling his friends about my acceptance at Brown, it was just downright embarrassing. Too bad I was going to disappoint him. That's the one thing I hated the most, disappointing my father, I'd done it first with Edward, then also when I became a Zombie. I just didn't want to go to college yet. I wanted to travel and just live a little, that was really the main reason behind my self-defence classes. Just in case some crazy people thought they could take advantage of the foreign American girl, they had another thing coming. I had everything prepared. I knew where I was going what sights to see, everything was planned out. Since I had gotten a scholarship placement from Brown, I had enough money I had saved from my days working at Newton's. I even called Brown asking them if they could take me the year after and they agreed saying it was no problem. Only thing left to do was to tell my parents.

It was the first week of the summer holidays and me, my mum, Phil and dad were all due to leave for a well-deserved summer break to Florida. We had just come back from La push beach when I decided to just tell them and get it done and over with.

Looking back I don't know why I was scared, I mean I was a fully-fledged adult and could still go without their permission. But none the less, I was crapping myself. At one point my mum thought I was pregnant with Jacob's baby. I've never seen my dad reach that fast for his holster with his gun in it.

After much reassurance to my dad that I still had my v-card, I finally got the courage to tell them. At first Renee was adamant that I do not go which surprised me as I expected Charlie to be more against it than her, he just sat quietly while I argued with Renee.

"I think it's a good idea." He suddenly said. The room went deadly quiet and Charlie looked at me and gave me a wink. I smiled the biggest smile ever since Edward. I sprang up like a 6 year old and went to hug my dad.

"Charlie! You can't be serious, I'm not allowing my little girl to go out there in the big bad world full of monsters and goodness knows what else, all by herself!" she yelled. Like really yelled. I smirked when she said monsters. If only she knew.

"Mum, I'm not a child anymore, I just need to get out of here for a little while and it's only for a year. With all the things that have happened, I would hope _you_ of all people would agree with me. You've lived your life, I just want to live _mine_." I explained to her as calmly as I could. Putting a big fight wouldn't help my cause. She eventually agreed with the promise of a call at least three times every week. They weren't happy with the fact that they had no money input to this trip and I assured them that if I ever needed it I would call them up and ask. But that didn't stop both of them and even Phil putting money in my account that would last me at least 2 years since I had a scholarship and all. And I was pretty sure I'd still have enough to get an apartment for college when I came back.

With that settled, I enjoyed my summer with my family as best as I could, knowing I wouldn't be seeing them for a year.

When it was time for me to go, I thought Renee would drag me by my hair to her car and lock me up for good with the death of a hug she gave me. Charlie was slightly calmer. He understood my need to do this, but he still wasn't happy with me going to places I've never been to before. I would always be his little girl, he told me. After a long and tiring teary goodbye, I waved goodbye to my life in Forks for good, vowing that when I came back to America, I would finally be me again. Oh how wrong I was.

I spent the first 4 months in Africa. It was absolutely gorgeous. I started from the south travelling my way up. My first stop was South Africa. I fell in love immediately. Spending about 2 weeks in Johannesburg, I visited safaris and ate too much food than I could bear. I travelled to the coast to take pictures of the oceans and even went dolphin watching. (AN: Just literally made that up).

My next two countries were Botswana and Zimbabwe; I went there as I had heard about volunteers needed to take care of children. I moved up to central Africa and went to Tunisia and Tanzania. I actually went into the wild to encounter first hand wild animals. Surprisingly while in Tanzania, I met shifters just like in Forks. They did not shift into wolves though; they shifted into these massive _mountain tigers_. I even had the pleasure of riding one. Jacob would freak if I ever told him that. They were very nice and welcoming so I stayed with them for about 3 weeks and they told me all about their stories.

My last stop was Morocco only for the fact I wanted to relax and just lie on the beach.

I travelled to Asia and spent 3 months there. I started with China. I walked the Great Wall of China, well part of it anyways. Ate China's glorious food and was sure I gained 5 pounds. And brought myself and my mum traditional Chinese clothing, she loved it the minute she got it after I sent it. I then travelled to India staying there for 3 weeks. I visited the Taj mahal and rode an elephant. Thailand was next. I spent 2 weeks in the beautiful villa in the forest.

Finally my last stop was Europe. It was the most I was excited about because of the museums and the art I just couldn't wait to explore and learn. I landed in Egypt on my 8th month away from home. I missed Charlie a lot and emailed him whenever I could. My mother called once in a while but it wasn't as bad as it was in the beginning.

From Egypt, Germany was next on my list. I didn't stay there long as I wanted to get to France and Italy for the museums. After passing though Greece, I flew to Italy and decided to hire a car and have a little road trip for the remainder of my trip. Of course Roma was my first destination there. I visited the Roman coliseum and of course the Vatican Museum. I stared at the famous painting of Leonardo Da Vinci for at least an hour. I was truly stupefied.

Travelling I made my way through Italy. Driving on the high way of Italy, I couldn't help but think of Alice. She would've loved this, especially Milan.

I missed them. I tried not to think about them but there were times like this when I couldn't help myself. I was royally pissed off at Edward for taking them away from me. But I was also pissed off at them for allowing that _stupid self-centred_ prick I fell in love with to convince them to leave.

As I was waiting at an intersection, something caught my eye. A sign. Well two signs really. One to the right with the words: _Volterra _the other to the left: _Venice_. Venice was my destination. But Volterra sparked my memory, when Edward was talking about vampire royalty, telling me that under no circumstances do you piss them off unless you have a death wish. I stood there, in the middle of the highway being the only car there. Thinking. Just thinking. I already knew I was going to Volterra; I was only worried for my parents. If something were to happen to me they'd be devastated. Edward would be crapping his balls if he knew I was doing this. His voice rolled into my head,

"Promise me one thing. You won't do anything stupid." Ha! My name was stupid.

_You've cracked man._

Oh shoosh. Voices in my head were a constant. You get used to it

With the revving of my car, I sped down towards the right. I wasn't stupid, well maybe a little. I didn't have a death wish. I was simply curious. And if something tried to attack me, then maybe what happened to Laurent would happen to them. It was wishful thinking really.

_Welcome to Volterra. _

_You know, you're probably gonna die here right?_

There's a chance but you'll protect me, you always do.

I was delving into a world I didn't belong to and I just hope I will come out alive.

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Hope you liked it. More to come soon.

(AN: I'm British, sorry don't know that many American colleges


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

AN- I know it's been months since I've updated and for that I am really really really really sorry guys. I'mn currently in my last year of A-levels so it's taking up all my time. I will try and update when I can but I have my January exams now so the next update may be in February. Really sorry guys. Please don't hate me and please forgive me. This chapter is short and sweet but the next will be Bellsie here encoutering the Volturi. Here it is.

PS Shout out to mspacman1 who hates AN in the middle of the story (I don't like them too so I have no idea why I put them there. I will remove them soon. I was porbably just nervous and wanted to explain myself. Also shout out to alyten my first reviewer who also likes a strong Jasper/Bella story.

Enjoy.

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Volterra was beautiful. The city had a sense of expectancy like nothing was ever going to be the same, which wasn't a surprise considering that royal vampires lived here. I found it quite amusing really, that they had a monarchy just like humans but I guess all communities need some type of leadership; vampires and werewolves included.

I've been here for a few days. I found myself a quaint little hotel and had been sight-seeing for the better part of nearly 3 days. Right now I found myself right in the middle of Volterra square near the fountain and I could feel my spidey senses tingling.

_Uh you don't have spidey sense. You're human. Vampy senses maybe, but definitely not spidey._

Oh shoosh, you know what I mean. I had that feeling again. That feeling that some unknown entity was closer to me. I felt it when Edward used to sit outside my window, I felt it with Laurent when he was approaching me in the meadow and I was feeling it now.

As discreetly as I humanely could, I let my eyes wonder around the square looking for a sign of some type of supernatural activity. And I spotted not 30 seconds later when I started to get the tingle.

It was the castle. The ghostly looking castle I hadn't been able to keep my eyes of for the last few days. It was big. Like massive big. The walls were high and the stones looked like they could crumble from a simple touch. The front doors of the castle were high and looked like cathedral doors. The presence that the castle gave off was magnificent. It was beautiful.

Although the doors were open it seemed that many people stayed away from the castle. It was clear that tours were given to those who wanted them but people seemed to shy away from the building. It could have been the two guards who stood either side of the doors looking like super scary statues. They wore long black cloaks that covered them from head to toe. Not one ounce of their skin seemed to be showing. You could just about make out their faces and even then they were shadowed by their hoods.

I just sat at the fountain looking at the building and analysing it. I came to the conclusion that this is where they sojourn. Vampire royalty living in a big scary castle, how cliché can you get.

For the next two weeks I found a few spots in the square where I could sit and watch the castle without causing too much suspicion from the towns' people and drawing too much attention to myself from the vampires. I've been watching the happenings of the castle with a careful eye and analysing it when I got back to the hotel room. I couldn't very well just walk in there screaming

"I KNOW YOU'RE VAMPIRES!" that could possibly get me killed.

_Possibly. Maybe._

I do not need your sarcasm right now. I'm on a mission here.

_Well if you could just focus on me for one minute, you will be pleased that I've made a little observation of my own._

Oh yeah? What's that?

_Rude much? Well in the past two weeks we've seen 2 large groups of tourists entering the castle each week right?_

Yes but what could that mean?

_Okay think about it, each time that group has been led by that vampire blonde girl right. And well they're vampires, and vampires need to feed…_

So you think the tourists are their meals?

_Precisely._

Hmm that does make a lot of sense since we never see them come back out. So they use tourists as their source of nutrition. Poor people probably thought that they were stepping into a moment in time of history when really they are just stepping into their deaths. But it would make sense to hunt tourists. Less attraction to them so no one would suspect anything.

Another week passed and I found myself getting closer to the castle. In fact only yesterday I stood about 5 feet from a vampire. He was massive. And he reminded me of Emmet's burliness. Even looking into his eyes I could see he was a big softie at heart. I realised that stalking vampire royalty could potentially get me killed, seeing as I was just a _measly human_, according to Edward. I decided that I either walk in or go back and really, that wasn't any option any more. Other than my family I had nothing left back in Forks. With that thought I decided to call my parents, to sort of say goodbye, without giving them a heart attack. I started with my mum.

"Bella! Oh my goodness thank God you're okay!" She literally yelled in my ear,

"Ow mum. I'm fine." Renee always thought too much of the worst things that could happen. I expected it more from Charlie with him being a cop and everything.

"Oh but you're not fine enough to pick up a phone and tell me! Not fine enough to send an e-mail. Young lady I want you on a plane to Florida right this instant!"

"Uh mum I'm turning 19 in a few days now so technically you can't ground me. Just saying. I called you two days ago and we spoke on the phone for 3 hours. And you worry too much. I'm having a great time in Europe. And nothing bad is gonna happen to me." I hope.

"Well sweetie I just worry about you. Why don't you come back home for your birthday at least. I miss you. We all miss you". My mother had a skill like no other, to make you feel terrible even if you had done nothing wrong.

"Mum come on, we agreed I would do this year on my own. And I'm not really in the mood to celebrate my birthday considering what happened last time." I knew it was a low blow, but I had to say something that would get her of my back.

"Bella please don't say that. You know we only wanna be there for you."

"I know my mum, I'm sorry that was mean. I just …I think I wanna stay here for a while longer. I'm having the time of my life. I finally feel free." And it was true. I _did_ feel free. I felt like myself again. I was in charge of my own destiny and I could do anything I want. I had met many great people during my travels who taught me so many great things. Especially the tribe in Tanzania, unlike werewolves, they didn't live to kill vampires or other supernatural creatures, they lived to spread peace.

"Well, fine. Just stay safe for me okay. And don't do something I wouldn't do." She agreed.

"Uh mum, you would do a lot of things". A _lot_ of things.

"Well just be smart. Love you baby and Phil says hi."

"Love you too mum. And tell him hi from me as well." We shared sweet goodbyes and ended the phone call. My mum wore her heart on her sleeve. Hurting her was never my intention so I felt guilty at the end of that conversation.

My dad was next. He was…challenging. He could always sense when there was a change in the air. And he'd lived enough to know that some events you can't control.

"Bells! Hey. I'm over at La push give me two minutes to get outside." I could hear laughter and music in the background.

"Dad where are you?"

"Oh I'm at uh Sue Clearwater's" Ah made sense. Sue Clearwater's husband passed away nearly a year ago. Ever since my dad's been over at Sue's to make sure had everything she needed. With all those trips and gatherings, they fell in love. Of course he wouldn't admit that to anyone in the beginning but everybody could see the love in their eyes. Well according to Jake that is.

"What's up kiddo. Haven't heard from you in a while." Dad, always straight to the point.

"I'm good dad. Just wanted to say hi and stuff."

"You never just say hi and stuff Bella. Are you okay?" My dad knew me too well. During my zombie months, he became really good at reading me and understanding what I wanted.

We talk about unimportant stuff, trying to stall him as long as I can until I couldn't anymore. Then he just came out with it.

"You're not coming back are you Bells."

"Dad..."

"I understand, I suspected as much. I just want you to be careful Bells." He knew. Well he had an idea. I guess Sue might have clued him in on some secrets.

"Do you hate me?" I was nearly in tears at this point, trying to calm myself down.

"Of course not sweetheart. I'm just gonna miss you like crazy!" And that just brought the rest of the water works out. My day stayed on the phone with me till I was calm enough to speak. We talked a bit more and then said goodbye in the way a Cop does.

"Just don't kill anyone."

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Hope you liked it. More to come soon.


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